i just google imaged poop.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
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Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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