you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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