Is it normal to miss your booty call?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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