CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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