I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
