I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
