Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
