I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
