no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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