dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
