You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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