I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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