She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
