So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
