Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
