what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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