he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
