OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
