spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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