Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
