You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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