I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
