we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
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wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
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We left an ass print on the piano.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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