one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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