They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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