My liver just broke up with me...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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