Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
