woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's