so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
