Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.