So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
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New game: find the sober person in Tbell
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
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They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies