I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
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He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
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OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times