you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?