i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
even my farts smell like vagina
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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