So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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