will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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