So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
