Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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