Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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