My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
