Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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