You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize