I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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