i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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