Plan B is the new Plan A
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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