Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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