soooo we both peed the bed last night...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
