just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize