I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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