i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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