Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
