I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
