let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
