Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
