Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
