the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
