I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
