does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
