He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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