you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
