i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
