Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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