Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
