Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
