I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
