it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
