honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
