i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
