Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
that's an acceptable place to lick
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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