Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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