i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
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he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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