Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The air was thick with penises
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
