dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
